La nuit de Freenēаг

點燃，夜風徐徐的陽臺上，第一根菸。

紅光向上爬著，在嘴裡稀薄成白霧。

我也不能看清，僅舌尖這樣的澀澀，和胸口那樣的壓抑。

眼前默默的昏暗，夜裡緩緩的陽光，月亮上淺淺地瞥過來：

深噘一口，罪惡小心翼翼被呼出，像怕是污染了天堂的境地。

我抗拒著這般快感，用虛無的愛來沉溺自己；

愜意來自于，惡作劇似的毀壞和原諒間的僥倖感。

眺望一切，熟悉與寧靜，

更像是無盡掙扎苟延的喘息。

摩擦著被冷空氣蟄到的腳踝，找不到哪些星星煞有介事的排位。

搖曳的煙，薄薄地淌著不知來處的微光，

悄悄地婆娑著遠方的晨曦。

下意識吐出，煙還是空氣；

輕盈得，好像要飛出去了——

抗拒不了也承受不了的輕。

在那一瞬間，就在那一瞬間，

似乎什麽事情一定要發生了。

心底裡的疾呼，順著下丘腦的火勢迅速蔓延開去，

不能反光的景物忽遠忽近，將誰要吞噬了。

無聲的狂歡從山頭直直地涌下來，

大大小小 形色各異。

若是不能聚焦便把眼界也打破，

狂躁地躥到四下去。

橘黃色的路燈驟亮，

於是聒噪隨著煙捲揮霍殆盡，

剩下的只有深沉與靜謐。

深沉如同步行過狄拉克之海，

靜謐如同遮蔽了塞勒涅的月。

僵直的身體對峙如臨深淵的闊達，如履薄冰的寫意。

灰燼冷卻，

留在胸中

像是被命運

死死膠著的感覺。

  Coldplay-Lost
  

 

Coldplay - Lost Lyrics

Just because I’m losing
Doesn’t mean I’m lost
Doesn’t mean I’ll stop
Doesn’t mean I will cross

Just because I’m hurting
Doesn’t mean I’m hurt
Doesn’t mean I didn’t get what I deserve
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I’ve tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh-Oh, And I’m just waiting till the shine wears off…

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn’t mean you’ve won
‘Cause along may come
A bigger one
And you’ll be lost

Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ooh-Oh, And I’m just waiting till the firing starts
Ooh-Oh, And I’m just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I’m just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I’m just waiting till the shine wears off…

 

 

 

Jack's Obsession

Something's up with Jack

Something's up with Jack

Don't know if we're ever going to get him back

He's all alone up there

Locked away inside

Never says a word

Hope he hasn't died

Something's up with Jack

Something's up with Jack

Christmas time is buzzing in my skull

Will it let me be? I cannot tell

There are so many things I cannot grasp

When I think I've got it, and then at last

Through my bony fingers it does slip

Like a snowflake in a fiery grip

Something's here I'm not quite getting

Though I try, I keep forgetting

Like a memory long since past

Here in an instant, gone in a flash

In these little bric-a-brac

A secret's waiting to be cracked

These dolls and toys confuse me so

Confound it all, I love it though

Simple objects, nothing more

But something's hidden through a door

Though I do not have the key

Something's there I cannot see

What does it mean?

What does it mean?

I've read these Christmas books so many times

I know the stories and I know the rhymes

I know the Christmas carols all by heart

My skull's so full, it's tearing me apart

As often as I've read them, something's wrong

So hard to put my bony finger on

Or perhaps it's really not as deep

As I've been led to think

Of course! I've been too close to see

The answer's right in front of me

It's simple really, very clear

Like music drifting in the air

Invisible, but everywhere

Just because I cannot see it

You know, I think this Christmas thing

It's not as tricky as it seems

And why should they have all the fun?

It should belong to anyone

Not anyone, in fact, but me

Why, I could make a Christmas tree

And there's no reason I can find

I couldn't handle Christmas time

I bet I could improve it too

And that's exactly what I'll do

“Harsh”

他不知道是呢喃了一个单词还是叹了口气，微微提眉，眼睛却滞留在不远处的地板上。

“胡笳十八拍音像走了很远的小节，”几乎是自顾自说地说道，“怎么说呢？……”

“……好像在心里挠了一下。”

他又下意识地把几乎烧完但烟灰依然凝结成原形的烟嗟了一口，徐徐呼出。

他是这样一个多话又寡言的外国人。

因为看不惯身边的很多事情，离开了自己的国家，来到另一片大陆，寻找印象中的“净土”。

听说他来的时候就没什么钱，一直也都似乎过着无业游民般的生活——即使如此，他手上的却一直都有新的万宝路供他消磨。和气的他很快就是这小地方的人混熟了，大家也都觉得他不像是外国人。

庙里常有老人随意地拉上几段小曲，他每次都会伫步停完才走。

发现他眼珠微微闪着光盯着我：“就是这样——”他轻轻地在空中将双手向前推，又末了像蛙泳一样往两边拨去。

“哗——”

柔弱但洪厚沧桑的嗓音，持续了好一会；他手停在空中，唇也一直没合上。

突然他像猛然醒过来一样，又冲我道：“就是那样的！就是，”为了故意加强语气，“exactly 那样的！”

见我没有什么回应，他又紧追着问：“就是那样的，都，统统地都拨开的样子。”

这时他眼睛已经牢牢地盯着我，万分期待，不，应该是已经想好他要我回答我的答案，然后硬从我嘴里拉出来一样：“你明白吧？”

我怎么会明白呢？